


Perceptions of Evelyn

by Absolute_Fool



Category: Merrily We Roll Along - Sondheim/Furth
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Family Drama, Multi, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Romance, Tags Are Hard, so much crackshipping but furth didnt give me much to work with so deal with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_Fool/pseuds/Absolute_Fool
Summary: Evelyn Kringas has always been an enigmatic figure in the lives of those who know her. In fact, maybe no one really knows her.
Relationships: Charley Kringas/Evelyn Kringas, Evelyn Kringas/Gussie Carnegie, Franklin Shepard/Gussie Carnegie
Comments: 21
Kudos: 2





	1. Frank

Quiet. That's what Evelyn had always been to Frank. She was often around, standing off to the side, or with her hand grasping Mary's, always quiet. She was intelligent though. Everyone knew this, whenever she'd say anything it would shake the room, shut everyone else up. Mary could quip but Evelyn would bite.

Her eyes did most her talking, that's what Frank thought. Her eyes, they never darted. They'd stick on one person, long after they were done talking. Mary said she was always thinking. Frank knew it was true.

But that quietness was what had drawn her to Charley, that's all that Frank could ever believe. Charley was quiet too sometimes. Of course, given the chance, Charley would talk and talk and talk but if he was around someone he couldn't quite fit in with, it was silence or awkward, poorly worded, small talk from him.  
That had to be it, really. That shared quietness, almost shyness, that had to have been what drew Charley to her. What kept them together. What other reason would there be for a woman to ever like Charley? Frank wasn't quite sure.

And it had to be that baseless too, because Frank had heard them argue. Shortly after Evelyn and Charley got married and shortly before they decided to have a child, Frank had been living with them, and a fight happened at least once a week. Not a small bickering disagreement, but a full blown screaming-in-each-other's-face fight. Over what? Frank never knew! Everything would be fine and great and then next thing he knew, Charley was pacing up and down the room while Evelyn excused herself to go cry in the bathroom. Nothing triggered the fights, they just happened.

They never fought in public. Though, Frank knew they'd gotten close. They'd hiss in each other's ears whenever they went out, occasionally one would pull the other away and Frank would watch them as they found a more private spot to bicker. It was discrete, it was neat. 

On one hand, they were that perfect couple. Well behaved, smart kids, clean and well kept apartment, just the right amount of religious, always doing alright. And on the other hand, Mary had bet since the moment she learned of their eloping, that they'd be eventually divorced. She'd never explain why, and Frank never felt like he needed any reason.

When Beth came into the picture, Evelyn was around a lot more. Evelyn had never really liked Frank, or at least that's what he'd assumed, she mostly just ignored his existence, but she loved Beth. Beth had quite liked her too, they'd giggle and talk, and Beth would ask Evelyn for advice or tips or they'd sit and laugh and talk about the kids. Evelyn would even occasionally come over for dinner, without Charley, and even willingly have a conversation with Frank.

Of course, the conversations were either very dry or mildly hostile but conversations nonetheless! Frank found her just.. fascinating! A cacophony of intricately woven ideals, traits, and roles, some of which Frank believed contradict each other. She was a maze of a person, and one just Charley would never be able to explain to Frank.

Frank had asked him before, guy to guy, about what exactly Charley saw in Evelyn. And Charley, never one to discuss his love life even with Frank, sorta just shrugged and said, "she's my wife." As if that helped anything or anyone.

But when Frank asked Evelyn the same question, her face lit up and she said, "Oh, he's a lot of things." Just as vague but twice as revealing. It was shocking to Frank, just how anyone could see anything in Charley that Frank himself did not.

Frank hadn't been made aware about the apartment.  
When Evelyn and Charley had separated, it was during Frank's own divorce, and Charley didn't have the nerve to bring it up. "Say, Frank, I see that you've lost the love of your life, guess what Evelyn and I are doing now!" Was too rude of a concept even for Charley.

And the worst thing was, that Frank knew it was his fault. Charley had defended him, he had testified for him, against Beth, against Evelyn's good friend, and it had destroyed her goodwill for him, her confidence in him. And if Frank had known this during the divorce itself? It would've been a struggle to deal.

He hadn't learned until Charley had made a silly remark about the subject, about her never coming into the city. later prompting Frank to ask Mary what he meant by that, just for Mary to deliver the news of their separation with best excitement, followed by a little bit of grief, considering the four kids.

But really, Frank didn't like feeling all that bad about it. He'd occasionally have to go out to the country to see Charley, so it must've not been all that rough. Charley would be sitting there, on the porch, with one of his daughters on his knee, and he'd smile at Frank and Frank knew it was okay.  
Of course, most of their correspondence was at Charley's apartment from then on. He didn't have the kids most of the time, so it was very empty. Charley wouldn't let Mary decorate it, perhaps thinking it was only temporary, so it was almost entirely furnitureless. And unlike Evelyn and Charley's apartment of yesteryear, it was usually messy. Charley was a disorganized person, always with stacks of paper and little knick-knacks scattered about. He was embarrassed whenever Frank came over, even if it was just for a moment to drop something off, mumbling, "sorry, sorry, I need to get a shelf or something." Charley would never get a shelf.

It got to a point where Frank was certain that if Charley and Evelyn had gotten divorced, he wouldn't have even noticed. They were that separate. Charley would gush on about the kids, sure, but it was always followed with a sad twinge in his eyes and a "I wish I saw them more." 

On the rare occasion that Evelyn would come out with Charley, they were hardly a couple. They were always standing a foot apart. Evelyn would try to grab Charley's hand and he'd tuck his hand in his pocket, loom away. There was never any hurt on Evelyn's face, just annoyance. 

Frank knew it was rude to bring it up, so Frank didn't bring it up. Mary brought it up, though! Only to Frank, though, and she'd already have all the information Frank wouldn't ask Charley for.

"Evelyn wants him back in the country house. Charley likes being in the city."  
"Evelyn is convinced Charley is having an affair." Then she'd laugh, "Charley, really? Who would he be having an affair with? You?" Then she’d laugh again.  
"I went over to the country house to spend the weekend with Evelyn, Charley was there! By Saturday afternoon, he and Evelyn had been arguing so much, Charley was no longer there."  
"Charley will spend an entire day lecturing me on alcohol, as if he has any right to talk, and then the next day, Evelyn will stop by and we'll split a bottle of champagne. I think I’m causing a schism.”

Charley wouldn't discuss it. At all. If Frank brought up Evelyn, Charley wouldn't say a word. Frank would drop it. It was a cycle.

Frank hadn't had a discussion with Evelyn in years. Or maybe it was that Evelyn hadn't had a discussion with Frank in years. He would be open to sitting down and just talking, so it had to be her who wasn’t!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow look at me! Finally writing something new for the first time since Old Friends See Cats... anyways, Evelyn is such an interesting character to me and I want to write about her... Ever consider how strange it is that she shares her name with George Furth's mother? I don't! Hope you enjoy.


	2. Mary

Mary couldn’t remember a time in her life without Evelyn. She meant everything to Mary. She had simply always been there, like an older sister, always watching over her. She was just a part of Mary’s life, something core and constant. They’d grown up together, their families knew each other! Evelyn would always find a way to get Mary what she needed when everything else failed. She cared, yes that was it, she cared and she had her shit together. Evelyn knew how to do anything and get anything she wanted.

Except for a man. She really didn’t like men. 

Evelyn had gone to a boarding school upstate, while Mary had gone to a Catholic all girls school in the city, and every letter Evelyn wrote was “My friends made us sneak out and go hang out with the boys. I hate the boys and I wish I could hit them with a car.” And then in the summer, when Mary and Evelyn would hangout, Evelyn would spend her every moment hassling whatever boy Mary had a crush on. 

Mary had always seen it as protectiveness, but as they got older, it got more tiring. Evelyn almost seemed anxious whenever Mary would leave on a date, and she hugged her a little too tight whenever she got back from one. And on the rare occasion that Mary would bring a boy over to their apartment, Evelyn would stand away, leaning on the wall, glaring the poor boy down until Mary told her to cut it out and she’d leave. It was weird.

Evelyn denied to date, first saying that it was because of school, but after she’d graduated, she said it was because Mary was still in school and she didn’t want to make Mary have to worry about Evelyn’s boyfriend causing her trouble. Mary didn’t get the excuse, but like always, it was usually just best to let Evelyn have it. It kept things calm. Evelyn was very good at stirring up conflict. Mary and Evelyn would fight about the stupidest things humanly possible. Evelyn could start a fight about everything from what food tasted the best, to the state of American industry, she had everything there in her head, ready to fire it off whenever she needed something to entertain herself. Nothing was ever simple with Evelyn, everything was just so complicated. In fact, everything had to be complicated with Evelyn. If something was easy to understand, easy to wrap one's mind around, Evelyn would try her hardest to make it harder to understand. Maybe it was for fun! Maybe Evelyn just enjoyed making Mary think a lot more than she ever wanted to. Evelyn didn’t seem to understand that Mary didn’t want to think about whether or not she was too comfortable with her life, or too uncomfortable with herself. It annoyed her! It annoyed her that Evelyn seemed to want to cause problems.

However, Evelyn’s disinterest in boys didn’t bother Mary all that much, ninety percent of the time, it meant that Mary didn’t really have to worry about jealousy. Of course, until it came to Charley. Evelyn had spotted Charley one night on the roof, and from then on, would get up early to walk with him out their building. Whenever Mary and Evelyn went out with Frank and Charley, Evelyn would spend the entire night just watching Charley. She laughed too hard at his jokes, touched his arms and shoulders, and tried to get a moment to talk to him at every opportunity.

Charley, of course, was completely oblivious to this. According to Frank, Charley had never really ever had any friends or relationships in general with anyone but him, so he wasn’t quite socially aware enough to see what Evelyn was doing. Frank was hardly any better, in fact he pulled Mary aside one night to ask her about it.

“So, does your uh- friend, have a crush on Charley or something?”

“I think so.”

“Oh.” Frank had said, frowning, “Well, Charley doesn’t get it. He’s.. he’s not all that good with people. I can tell him, though, if she wants. Because there’s no other way he’ll ever know.”

And Mary had laughed and told him that Evelyn would scalp Frank if he said a single word to Charley about it. 

Mary instead, pulled Evelyn aside the next day, and hissed at her.

“Frank knows you have a thing for Charley!” Which caused Evelyn to spend the next ten minutes denying the existence of said thing.

“And if you don’t tell Charley, he’ll never ever find out.” Mary said.

And Evelyn stopped her ranting and took a seat on the couch.

The thing with Evelyn was that she was fiercely independent. If she thought she had a problem, she was going to solve the problem. Evelyn never asked for help and she never wanted help either. And in that vein, she left that room that night and Mary didn’t see her for another three days. She also didn’t see Charley. 

They had eloped. Just like that, without even dating, Evelyn had somehow convinced him to marry her, and then they’d both come home and acted like nothing had changed, other than Evelyn now having a cheap wedding band on and a much better attitude.

When Evelyn and Charley announced their marriage, giddy and mildly confused in equal parts, Frank had choked on his morning cup of coffee and Mary had almost passed out. It was insane, it didn’t make sense, and it was so so stupid.

“This is all I’ve ever dreamed.” Evelyn said one night, that giddy excitement, “I know you don’t understand it, Mary. But he is perfect, he’s everything I've ever wanted. He’s a dream.” Mary had never thought, in her life, that Evelyn dreamed of boys. That Evelyn dreamed of getting married. It simply didn't make any sense. Mary couldn't even comprehend it. It felt like a lie.

And like that, Mary was hardly with Evelyn. Two months later, Mary was living on her own while Evelyn and Charley were living together with Frank (much to Evelyn’s annoyance) as if they’d been married for years. Evelyn was no longer dotting on Mary, no longer harassing her boyfriends, she was head over heels for Charley. Every time they spoke, Evelyn would bring up how much she loved him, like it was an obligation to say it.

Mary never asked Evelyn to explain. She had fallen in love, even if Mary thought Evelyn never would, and Charley had gone along with it, and she was happy, and she wanted to start a family and be a good working wife. They were the perfect couple now and Mary just had to accept it. It wasn’t like Mary wasn’t Evelyn’s friend still. 

When they had their first child, in late 1959, Evelyn had made Mary come with her to the hospital, Mary got to help pick out the baby name, Mary was the kid’s godmother. Mary was always invited over, she was treated like a sister.

It was sorta lonely not having someone to rant to about men. All Mary’s friends had husbands soon enough, except for her. 

Mary always felt a little guilty enjoying the conflict. She loved Evelyn and she loved Charley and she loved their children and blah blah she wanted them all to be happy, but when conflict arose, Mary ate it up. There was nothing like hearing Evelyn rant about how much of a struggle it was to get Charley to act correctly around Evelyn’s family, it was validating. Mary loved hearing Charley sigh and mumble about how Evelyn wouldn’t even try to get along with Frank, and how he was certain that she only pretended to enjoy his work. 

Evelyn would never admit it, but everyone knew that she regretted the marriage. That’s what everyone had to believe. She sobbed at weddings. She kicked him out into his own apartment after Frank and Beth's divorce. She demanded the kids be taught to be like she was taught to be, not like charley. Mary couldn’t even recall a time that she’d seen Evelyn and Charley kiss in public, there was really nothing there. Mary almost felt bad about gawking at it. It was almost tragic how clearly unhappy they both were, though Evelyn would deny it.

Right after Frank and Beth’s divorce, Mary was invited over to spend a weekend with Evelyn and the kids, and shockingly, Charley! Friday night went well. Evelyn and Charley had got the kids to bed early and so they all stayed up, playing poker (which Evelyn was very good at) with a younger couple from down the street. And Charley and Evelyn both spent the night making bitter little remarks at one another about the other’s drinking, and laughing and talking, and otherwise seeming like close friends. And the younger couple left and Charley went upstairs to set up the guest room for Mary, and Evelyn sat and watched her.

“I’m so tired.” Evelyn said, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear, “I wish he could just admit he was wrong. That it was cruel, that it was unkind to perjure himself! To perjure himself for Frank and to hurt Beth. it was all a lie, Mary. Do you know what that makes me feel? If he can lie about that, what he’s lying to me about, Mary?”

Charley came down the stairs, stopping and leaning on the railing, “What would I even have to lie to you about?” There was this weird energy in his voice, not like anything Mary had ever heard from him. It was like the words hurt for him to say, but they were gentle words and precisely asked, on target.

Evelyn closed her eyes and reached out for Mary’s hand, which Mary allowed her to grasp, glancing up at Charley. Mary could draw the expression on his face if asked, it was burned into her mind. Knitted eyebrows, pitiable eyes, but his body language was the opposite, he was so clearly angry. 

“Why do you act like you don’t understand me, Charley?” Evelyn squeaked out.

“ I don’t understand anyone.” Charley said, “Let’s not do this in front of Mary.”

“Why?” Evelyn said, “Mary’s our best friend. We’re not fighting, we’re just talking.”

Charley sat down on the stair, “No one wants this. I don’t want it, you don’t want it, Mary doesn’t want to see it. It's a great big mess. Everything is a mess. And we can fix it, and you’’ll come out on top, but you’re not letting it happen.” Mary wanted to make eye contact with Charley, try to make him stop it, but he was staring at the ceiling, “And at that point, I think you’re just making yourself miserable. I just wish I didn’t have to be a part of it, and I wish you’d stop trying to drag Mary into it. She didn’t do anything.” He stood up, “I’m going to go tend the garden, don’t turn the porch light off.”

Mary wanted to comfort, or console, Evelyn, but there was nothing there to comfort or to console. Evelyn looked just fine, straightening herself out and wiping her eyes, not really made upset. 

“He’s such a sweetheart.” Evelyn said, “Isn’t he just so sweet, Mary? I got such a catch. He’s a dream”

Mary had been told her entire life that marriage changed a girl for the better. Becoming a wife was supposed to make a woman more gracious, more loving, more caring, but it didn’t do that to Evelyn. It made her quieter, more closed off, but more elegant, harsher, it made her more of anything she always had been. She was Evelyn, in all caps now. EVELYN! The concept terrified Mary. If Mary had gotten married, would she become more intense? Would she become MARY?   
That was it. Evelyn and Charley were just too intense. That had been the change. They had turned each other into people made solely of intensity! That’s what had made everything so uncomfortable!

“I’m having an affair.” Evelyn once told her. Casually, too, over lunch. Evelyn had come into the city for the first time in months and specifically asked Mary to get lunch with her. She had a cigarette in one hand, and a glass of ice water in the other, and she just said it, “I’m having an affair. He’s 25, very attractive, and he’s my neighbor and Charley knows. Charley has wanted a divorce for years, but we’re not getting a divorce, but we live apart and we act apart, so really I don’t think it hurts anyone.”

Evelyn was peculiar and Mary simply couldn’t understand her ever. It was over, at that point, the concept of Mary ever getting Evelyn, how she acted, who she acted, why she acted. It didn’t make any sense!n Mary could see it in her eyes, she still loved Charley. She loved Charley so deeply, but yet? What was it? Why? Mary didn’t say any of it, she didn’t ask, she didn’t tell her to stop. She didn’t tell Charley. She didn’t feel bad about hearing it. It was just a thing. A very confusing thing. And after Evelyn dropped that bomb, the day just went on. They discussed politics, and Evelyn bitched about frank, and Evelyn gave Mary relationship advice that Mary now had a great reason to never use, and they both talked about work. Everything was what it was.

But the thing was, as normal as that conversation felt, it was the last conversation. It was the last real conversation they ever had. Charley had finally destroyed the relationship, he’d embarrassed her by embarrassing himself on TV. And Mary didn't want to lose Evelyn! She didn’t want to lose the woman that had helped her through so many things, but that interview, it changed Evelyn. She threw everything in, she divorced Charley, got custody of the kids, and never returned to the city. She even sold the country house, moving upstate instead. Mary tried to reconnect, but Evelyn was simply not there anymore. She was a completely different woman. 

It was 1976 when Mary went up there, to Evelyn’s new house. There were still boxes littering the hallways, unpacked, and the kids were beginning their first year at the exact boarding school that Evelyn herself had gone to. It was quiet. There were no photos on the walls, too many of them had Charley in them. Mary had been welcomed in by some guy she’d never seen before, and Evelyn entered the living room 15 minutes later. Evelyn was dressed in this fashionable, beautiful, light green dress that was tied at the waist, and her glasses were gone and her hair was tied back and when she sat down, the man sat next to her and she held his hand.

Evelyn was a late bloomer, and when she finally bloomed, the flower was completely unrecognizable. She was like nothing Mary had ever seen, happy and distant, living her life with nothing beyond what she had in her hand, or that’s what it felt like. 

And that night, when they sat and ate dinner, she told Mary, “Listen, what I’ve done? I’ve found it, Mary. I’ve found what I really wanted. And I’m telling you, it's never what you think that you want. And you need to understand it, Mary, that you are so much like Charley that when I say this to you, I’m saying it from my years of observing him, Frank will destroy you. He will distort you until you’re nothing. Take another route, Mary, become me and don’t become him. Life is not all that complicated. You can have everything, I’ll get you everything, but you have to take the offer.”

And Mary didn’t take the offer because, in her mind, the offer wasn’t even real. There was no way that Evelyn was truly happy, she had thrown away her only dream. Mary simply couldn’t believe it.

And that was it, Evelyn sat back in her seat and smiled, “I guess that’s it then. I guess this is how you want to live your life. I love you, Mary, I do. You know that. I know that that’s not enough. Call me, I’m always here.”

But she wasn’t. Evelyn was gone. This was someone new. She meant nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mary is a bit of a Robert.... Anyways, everyone asks "Where is Evelyn?" but no one asks "How is Evelyn?" and they should because she sobs at weddings and never comes into the city to see her husband and she has four kids. Weird.


	3. Gussie

Evelyn Kringas, née Azadovsky, was Gussie’s least favorite person on earth. Possibly in the universe. 

They’d met young, in school. Evelyn was a year younger, but she acted four years older. She was that judgmental. Like a bitchy older friend who believed she had everything ready. Eyes always watching Gussie’s ever move. She had a comment on everything and everyone that Gussie came in contact with. That was just who Evelyn was. She was always in Gussie’s hair, telling her when she was doing something “foolish.” Evelyn always claimed it was because she cared. But Gussie simply didn’t get what she had to care about. They were just classmates, classmates with the same group of friends, but hardly friends themselves. Evelyn just wouldn’t leave her alone. It wasn’t creepy as much as it was sad, at least that’s what Gussie had decided to believe. She had so little luck with the boys, that she had to comment on Gussie’s.

The weird thing was that Evelyn was by no means nerdy or shy. She was bold, she’d talk and she was smart, and she knew exactly what men would’ve wanted. Gussie once brought her, when they were on a break, out to hang with the man who would later become her first husband. He had brought friends, and Evelyn went silent. Gussie had believed that she must think they were cute, but no, as one of the guys went on a rant about platonian philosophy, Evelyn piped up, “Why are a bunch of 25 year old graduate students hanging out with a 16 and 15 year old, don’t you have girls your own age that like you? What’s wrong with you?”

Gussie had grabbed her by the arm, probably too rough, and pulled her into the ladies room.

“What are you doing?” Gussie said, “I love that guy, and his friend is a real sweetie and you need to stop trying to ruin it because I’m doing a favor.”

And Evelyn cocked her head to the side like a dog, biting her lip, then frowned, “Shirley, you have to be joking.” 

That was Evelyn’s favorite line. Evelyn said it all the time, it was the perfect way to make one doubt themselves. Gussie couldn’t stand it! She wasn’t going to doubt herself because this little girl tried to make her!

And then, a year and a half later, when Gussie got married to this guy. Evelyn was the witness, and the entire time she was scowling, shaking her head. And on the ride home with her first husband driving and Evelyn sitting in the back, Evelyn was crying! Crying! On Gussie’s wedding day!

“Shirley, you’re so impulsive!” She bawled, “You’re far too impulsive!”

In hindsight, Evelyn was right about that, but in the moment, that wasn’t what Gussie needed. Gussie needed support, or at least a nicer wake up call. No one gave her that, everyone was either far too approving of it or far too negative like Evelyn. Gussie had come to the conclusion not to hold it against her, they were just kids, but it was everything that happened after that that Gussie would never let go.

That marriage was quickly annulled, the asshole fled down right afterwards. But Evelyn never let it go, she from then on treated Gussie as incapable of smart decisions. And by the time that Gussie married The Writer, Evelyn was a bane on Gussie’s existence. She stopped by her apartment the night before the wedding. Evelyn had been invited to it but she wasn’t going, she had class and she was a very proud Barnard girl. But that night, she sat Gussie down and begged her. 

“This guy? He doesn't have a job, he wants you to support his whims. I read the poem of his you sent me, it’s… shit! Don’t _you_ have dreams, Shirley?”

“I can be a secretary _and_ take classes, Evelyn.” 

“You’re the smartest lady I know.”

In that moment, that brief moment, Gussie liked Evelyn. She did. There was really nothing wrong between them in that present, it was only in the future looking back. Gussie grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

“You are always so concerned about people. You need to stop being so worried.”

“I’m always worried about you.”

Gussie put her hands on Evelyn’s shoulders and put a finger to her cheek. It was that intimacy, that intensity, that really made looking back the worst. Sitting in Gussie’s first apartment’s living room, on the floor, arms wrapped around each other, staring each other down like they were waiting for someone to crack. Neither of them cracked, Evelyn laughed though, covering her mouth and looking down.

“Tell me, Ev? Do you think I’d be better off doing this alone? I don’t think I could handle the pressure.”

“I think that you have to do it alone. I think that no one really wants to help you, they just want you as a trophy.” 

Evelyn was so good at being so reductionist that it was almost funny. Almost funny. At that moment, all Gussie could think to say was, “I’m not even that good of a trophy. I mean, if I got a trophy with my nose? I’d throw it back.”

“I like your nose.” Evelyn said, “See? This is what I mean. People tell you that you’re wrong and you’re expected to listen to them, I think that you’re better off being alone, then you don’t have to listen to anyone until they have to listen to you. Do you get what I mean?”

Gussie never knew what Evelyn really meant. What her real intentions were. Gussie tried to change the subject, tried to ask her about how her life was, but she kept circling back to Gussie. Evelyn always said that there was nothing about herself she ever wanted to talk about, Gussie didn’t want it to be made true.

Gussie cut her a deal, she’d find a spot for her at the wedding if she came, and she’d show her that everything was fine. And Evelyn came to that wedding, and she sat on a folding chair at the bridesmaid’s table, and she watched Gussie throughout the entire night with that judgmental stare that never went away. That night, once again, Evelyn showed up. Gussie was packing for their honeymoon when The Writer let Evelyn in.

Evelyn entered the room, The Writer right behind her, and then shooed him out. She looked like Jackie Kennedy in the moment, her hair and her clothing and how she stood, and she removed her hat and said, “Please listen to me.”

“You are not as smart as you think you are.” Gussie said. 

“No one is.” Evelyn said, “But I get men, I do. That’s why I don’t date them, because I can see right through them. I can see right through this guy, Shirley, I can see what you won’t see until it's too late.”

That ego, that narcissism, all fueled by Evelyn’s complete inability to trust! Time and time and time again, it was all that there ever was to her. Everything was about someone else! And Gussie couldn’t stand it anymore! 

In hindsight, she was right. But that didn’t make her  _ right.  _ Evelyn was anything but right! She was disturbed and Gussie didn’t need it anymore. 

“Shirley, what I really think is that this is real dumb! I think you’re real stupid for falling for this again. I think you put far too much emphasis on your dreams, that’s what I think!”

So, that was it, Gussie finally rid her of her life. No more. They weren’t friends or enemies, they simply did not know each other. 

Shockingly, Evelyn never pushed it. Gussie had been on edge throughout her entire honeymoon that Evelyn would call her the moment she got back home, and sob sob sob about how she wanted to be her friend again, but she didn’t. They did in fact, become nothing, like most school friends do.

That was until many many years later when Gussie learned that the composer she had fallen in love with, knew her quite well. 

The first time they ran into each other because of this, it was an awful experience. It was surprising that the tiny, pathetic, sharp-tongued Charley Kringas had married Ms. Azadovsky for a multitude of many factors. The first ones that ran through Gussie’s head were:

  1. Holy shit, I thought Charley was a queer.
  2. Holy shit, I thought Evelyn was a lesbian
  3. How in the world did he snag her?
  4. How in the world did she settle for him?



When they saw each other, there was a good 30 seconds where all they could do was look at eachother, before Evelyn pulled Charley over and kissed him, as if she was saying, “Yes, I’m married.”

They did not discuss it. 

They did not know each other.

It was once again, years later when Gussie told a single soul about it. Frank. As they sat in a car, cleaning themselves up after a hasty and regrettable hookup, after Gussie reapplied her lipstick, she said it: Oh, by the way, your best friend is married to my former school friend.

Frank’s eyes got big and he shook his head, buttoning his shirt one more button, “I thought you didn’t know Mary.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s her best friend.”

“I guess a girl can have two best friends.”

Frank nodded, slowly, then shrugged, “That’s such a weird coincidence.”

It was such a weird coincidence. Gussie felt vindicated, sorta, seeing that Evelyn had found herself a very obvious man that she wasn’t able to see through felt… nice. Because Charley was so obvious, it was totally going to lead to disaster! The thought almost made Gussie giddy. There was nothing like spite! Waiting for everything to explode was like watching a clock, change was inevitable but it never seemed to happen when you were thinking about it.

It happened right after Gussie and Frank got married, late 1971. Frank came home one night in a panic. He wouldn't say a word about what was wrong, just pace around their living room, biting his knuckle.

Gussie was supposed to fly to California in the morning.

“What’s wrong?” She said, eventually. She preferred to let him talk about himself when he wanted, but it was keeping her up.

Frank stopped and huffed out air, “Charley had a heart attack.”

Now, Gussie had never wanted to bring Evelyn that sort of pain. A divorce? That would be nice. Her husband dying? No. No. that was awful and Gussie was not wishing for it in the slightest. Her heart sank.

“Is Mary with her?” Gussie said.

“What?” Frank said.

“With Evelyn.”

Frank shook his head, “She had to stay in the country, with the kids.”

Of course.

And so she did it. She swallowed her pride and took a car an hour and a half out to Evelyn’s house and came up those stairs and knocked on the door. It was late, she was probably asleep. Gussie felt stupid. Gussie was falling asleep as she stood, keeping herself awake by knocking on the door whenever she felt herself sinking. Eventually, Evelyn opened the door. She didn’t look like Jackie Kennedy at that moment, she looked small, and sad, and tired. Her hair was loose and she hadn’t wiped off her makeup, it was smudged and some of it had gotten on the collar of her dress. She grinned, slightly and let Gussie in.

They sat on the sofa and Evelyn was tapping her foot as she rambled on, “Frank was wrong. He usually is. It was a cardiac event, not a heart attack. Mary is just melodramatic, right? And don’t you dare insult her right now.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” 

“Yes you would. I still know you a little bit, you get off on making people squirm and that involves me! You’re just like frank. Which is why I don’t understand why they hate you. They should love you. You’re better than Frank. Frank is ruthless, he doesn’t see below him or around him, he just sees above him and he’s climbing and he doesn’t even realize that he’s using other people as stepping stones and oh my God! I think I hate you. Isn’t that just sick? My husband could die and I’m not even all that upset-- he’s not going to die, he’s probably fine-- I’m just mad to see you. You hurt Beth, you hurt Mary, you hurt me. And you’re the one on my sofa at 2 am! What does that even mean for us? Is this a fucking mindgame? I don’t know! I don’t think I have the right to care. I mean, my husband? I don’t even like him. I can’t name a single person who I really like. Your husband destroys people, it's not all that surprising that you’re drawn to him, he’s going to destroy you too. Self destructive, why is everyone I love so self destructive? Or they’re a queer, or they’re both. I have to fix everything, and I’m not even around most of the time. If I was around more? I’d explode. I cannot stand a single soul! They’re all awful! You know what the worst thing is, Shirley? I think I like you still more than I like anyone else in my life, and I hate you. I loathe you. And still? You’re the only person I know who makes any sense. Mary is so smart and beautiful and she loves your husband, and Charley? Well, he wants a divorce but he’d die if he didn’t have someone looking out for him! He thinks that Ted will be there for him, but he won’t. Charley, he’s... He’s so…….” She stopped her monologue and looked at Gussie, moving her knees up to her chest, removing her spectacles with one hand and placing them on the arm rest, “He’s impulsive. He’s not all that different from you, Shirley. That’s the thing, he’s just like you.”

That was possibly the cruelest insult that Gussie had ever gotten.

“Well, I mean look at it on paper. Youngest children of anxious immigrants, self conscious about everything and anything, hell of a good singer-- You’re both very smart but very unwise and you’re both in love, metaphorically or not, with that Franklin.. You both hardly have any real friends.. You’re both not there, it's the shell too. You’re impulsive and you wear that shell. He gets passive and you get active, but it's just two sides of the same coin. How did I not see it? I want to fix charley because I want to fix you.”

Gussie tried not to laugh. She really did. Evelyn was hurting, she was afraid, this was a product of that. But.. She did. Gussie snorted and looked away from Evelyn. Looking at her made it worse. 

A picture of Charley, Evelyn, and their four children, all stoically staring at the camera, rest over the mantle. They didn’t look like they knew each other. Charley’s grip on Evelyn’s waist was like he was holding a sack of flour. Evelyn’s hands were on the shoulders of her eldest daughter, as if she was just something to lean on. This wasn’t a family. Gussie looked down.

“How many kids do you have?” Gussie said, “Just the four in the photo?”

“I wanted to have six, but Charley is Charley.” Evelyn said, “Why are you so dead set on changing the subject?”

“Because I’m nothing like Charley Kringas.” Gussie said, “Not in the slightest. And I’m not going to let you tell me I am, it's bad for the both of us.”

“Why does it matter if I insult you? I mean, Shirley, we’re not anything to each other. Our husband’s are in an abusive relationship, that’s all. That is the big problem, even if I wanted to love you again, what would we be? We’d be the women. We’d be the women next to our husbands, the geniuses that they are. What are we? We’re nothing. I’ve become you at 19. And you’re the same. Isn’t that just awful? Everything we do, we still end up being someone’s girl. I mean, have you seen charley? He should be my boy, I shouldn’t be his girl!” She laughed and then shook her head, “I don’t know how much longer I can handle any of this.”

Gussie scooched in closer to her and put an arm around her waist. Evelyn adjusted, moving her legs, and laid herself on Gussie’s lap. She reached up and brushed a piece of hair from Gussie’s face. Gussie reached up and kept her from removing her hand. 

“I came to comfort you.” Gussie said, “Don’t you get that?”

“I don’t need to be comforted. I’ve never needed to be comforted. There’s nothing comfortable about me, Gussie. I am--” She sat up and pulled Gussie closer, now sitting in her lap, “I am in perpetual discomfort.”

“I think every woman is, just a bit.” Gussie said, studying the smudge of eye shadow that was inching itself up Evelyn’s left temple. Gussie reached her thumb to the smudge and wiped at it, the green pigment not entirely going away. Evelyn smiled.

“It's supposed to be smudge proof.” Evelyn said, “Very expensive.”

“Not very good quality.” Gussie said,

“Money can’t buy everything.” Evelyn said, “But, you’d know that, wouldn’t you?”

“Money’s got me a lot of things..” Gussie said, “Not much of a family, though.”

“Oh, yes. A family comes from luck.” Evelyn said, leaning back slightly, “I don’t have one either.”

“The four kids?”

Evelyn pulled away from Gussie and stood up, going to the photo on the mantle. She picked it up and covered her own face with her thumb.

“Mara, Rachael, Eleanor, and Alexia.” Evelyn said, “We’re all like cardboard cutouts in this photo. That’s why I love it so much.”

“Handsome family.” Gussie said, “I never wanted kids.”

“I never wanted a husband.” Evelyn said.

“I always wanted a husband.”

“And I always wanted kids.” Evelyn said, “Shirley, can I show you something? Do you mind the chill outside? It’ll just be for a second.”

The two clunked a small flight of stairs down to the back yard. The porch light on, the garden was lit from one direction. It was so lush, so overgrown, that she couldn’t see the fence around the perimeter. A dog came sauntering up and sat at Evelyn’s feet. She reached down and scratched it’s head. A stripe ivy covered the path as they walked further in, Evelyn digging her heel into it and kicking it aside as Gussie came up behind her. It was the ugliest thing Gussie had ever seen, overcrowded and half dying.

“When Joe and I got married, he bought me a greenhouse.” Gussie mumbled.

“Charley and I tried to bond over a garden. That is what the therapist we saw told us to do, to do something that we have to do together. If you don’t have two people tending a garden of this size and complexity, with their unique strengths and knowledge of the plants, it becomes overgrown and certain parts of it-- Charley’s ivy, for example-- begins to overtake others-- my tomatoes-- and it becomes a mess. My kids can’t even play back here anymore. The dogs? They’ve gotten stuck in a patch of bramble growing in the back. And the worse thing? The worst thing is that Charley and I have tried to get it in control before, we have, but we never get too far. It's a great big, incompatible space.”

Gussie turned her head and looked at the house. A face was staring out a window on the second floor. Gussie turned and waved, and the face shut the curtains and the light went out. 

“I think one of your daughters is awake.” Gussie said.

“Of course.” Evelyn sighed, “Well, I’m going to have to- I have to talk to her. She’s probably already sitting on the sofa, waiting for me to explain.”

“Do they know about their father?”

“Not unless he dies, they won’t.” Evelyn said, “Here, can I lead you the back way out? I don’t want to have to explain who you are.”

“I’m no good with kids.” Gussie said.

“Neither am I.” Evelyn said, grabbing her wrist, “It's dark, let me lead you.”

Evleyn pulled her through a clearing in the ivy, stepping over a fallen branch of a tree that Gussie couldn’t see in the dark, pushing past the corner of the house, coming to a metal gate covered in plants. Gussie took a step back, brushing a leaf off Evelyn’s arm. Evelyn glanced back and grabbed one of the arms of whatever plant was growing on the dimly lit gate and yanked at it until it snapped. She took a key out of her pocket and unlocked the gate, opening it and moving to the side to let Gussie out.

Gussie stopped as she got through the gate, standing there for a second. She turned to grab Evelyn and pull her into a hug, but Evelyn was already a meter away, returning to the back yard. Gussie straightened her posture, brushed her hair off her shoulder, and found her car. The driver was asleep, she tapped on the window as she got in, and they went off back towards the city. 

Evelyn was really Gussie’s least favorite person. That was all that she could think. That’s the only thought that bounced around her head as she slipped her heels off and curled up into bed with her husband. Frank wasn’t asleep, he turned and faced her as she flopped down.

“It was sweet for you to go see her.” Frank said, “Is she okay?”

“Better than she should be.” Gussie mumbled, “So is Charley.”

“That’s good.” Frank said, pulling her close and kissing her forehead, “Why are you covered in dirt?” 

Gussie didn’t answer, closing her eyes and pressing herself into his chest, “I’m tired, Franklin.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my very long narrative headcanon about Gussie and Evelyn. Suffer at the hands of my own self indulgent writing. muahah.


	4. Ted/Tyler

Ted never knew Evelyn. Ever. He knew of her. He knew her role and who she was on paper. He’d even met her once.

He’d been sitting at the piano right before that night’s first show of  _ Frankly Frank _ , going over a brand new song with Charley, something about a drug rehabilitation center in California. Ted never had a clue why Charley wrote about what he wrote about. And as Charley began an intense tangent about the opening vamp, a woman cleared her throat and he looked up.

There she was, Evelyn Kringas. She was tall, well built, well dressed, and holding a baby in her arms, with a cigarette in her lips and sunglasses hiding her eyes. “I can’t stay, darling, but I thought I’d wish you luck with the new song.” she said, then she caught Ted’s eye, “I am Evelyn. I am his wife, yes be shocked for a moment. This is our daughter, Mara. I’d offer to shake your hand but I’d have to drop her to do it.”

Charley got up and grabbed his daughter from her, gently, and Evelyn shook Ted’s hand, “Who are you? You’re by the piano but I know you’re not Frank.”

“I’m Ted.” 

“Ah. Interesting.” She looked to Charley, who was surrounded by a small crowd of interested waiters, like Tyler, all cooing over the baby, “You’re on in a bit and I want to say hi to Elizabeth. May I have our daughter back?”

Charley nodded, handed her back, and then kissed Evelyn on the cheek. Ted couldn’t tell, but it almost looked like she rolled her eyes at it, then she left. Charley returned to his seat, shooing away Tyler, and went back to ranting about the opening vamp.

Charley spoke about Evelyn a lot during their flings. First Ted thought it was out of guilt, Charley’s way of coping with his own self hatred or whatever, but he did seem to genuinely have a lot to say. He didn’t speak highly of her, but he by no means bad mouthed her, instead he spoke rather neutrally. Just stating what she’d been doing later, occasionally cracking a joke about how anxious people they both were. When Charley first started doing it, usually as he buttoned up his shirt, Ted had told him to stop, but as time went on, it became almost routined. It allowed Ted to get a little glimpse into Charley’s strange strange life.

When Ted and Charley had first met, about a week before Frankly Frank, Charley had come to his apartment on behalf of frank, music in hand, and as they sat together and went over the music, discussed music, Charley turned to him, and said, “Are you a homosexual?” and Ted had sorta laughed and stood up, to grab Charley’s coat. This offer was over, it seemed, but Charley got real quiet and stared down at the floor.

“I’ve never met one and I’m certain I’m bad at finding them.” he mumbled, “I’m very good at embarrassing myself.”

“Oh.” Ted had said, hanging Charley's coat back up, “I thought you were getting angry at the concept-”

Charley’s eyes remained focused on the floor, “I- I have a wife. I’m not saying anything, really. I just find it interesting.”

Charley was an item of pity in his own way. From the moment they saw each other, there was an instant connection, but not one much beyond that pity. Charley always seemed so unhappy, throughout the years they knew each other he seemed frustrated and stuck, bothered by his life, but it was Evelyn who kept Ted up at night. Ted didn’t know her enough to know how well she knew her husband, if she was hurt by him, if she didn’t even like him and they were married for the kids or whatever, or if she was equally adrift as her husband and it was a mutual cover. It wasn’t in Ted’s place to ask.

He couldn’t be mad at Charley. He liked Charley too much, he was funny. Charley was funny and a good enough lyricist, and he was a good enough lover most the time. He couldn’t hate Charley for trying to be someone he was not. Charley hated being alone, he had told Ted that many times, he hated feeling like there was no one on earth that was really there for him. Evelyn was there for him, by the law at least. Ted just wished that Charley had an ounce of respect for her, that he’d do something about it. At the very least, he wished that Charley would tell him more about her, about how they fought and who she was. 

One night, in 1967, Charley had shown up at his door, a suitcase in his hand and a pair of poorly taped together glasses on his face. Ted had let him in, entirely out of a platonic obligation. Charley, angry but tearful, ranted a long long time about what had happened. Frantically, Charley explained that Evelyn hated, HATED, Frank, and that Charley had defended him, which he had to do because Frank would’ve lost his son if he hadn’t (and Charley couldn’t ever ever let that happen) and that Evelyn and him had gotten in quite the altercation, leading to her locking him out of their own apartment in the city, and moving her and the kids to her mother’s house in the country, and Charley had considered going to Mary but he couldn’t deal with her snarky little remarks, and if he had said a word to Frank-- he didn’t want to think about it! This manic, angry, pacing, runt was like no Charley that Ted had ever met. Charley was quiet, concentrated, even, passionate but not angry, this wasn’t the Charley that Ted had met. Maybe this is the Charley that Evelyn knew, that made Ted sad, just the thought of it.

That night, Charley did tell Ted a lot about Evelyn. Practically everything there was to hear. She was older than him, her parents liked him and her father recently died, and she had asked him to marry her not long after her meeting him and Charley went on and on about how stupid he was! About how absolutely idiotic he was to say yes, and Ted couldn’t really argue. Charley had a way with words, he really did. He could frame anything how he wanted it to be framed, and he framed Evelyn as nothing but bad. Evelyn, to Charley, had married him at a moment when he should’ve never been married, and had spent her life trying to shape him into someone he was not. Ted couldn’t entirely buy it, despite Charley's great sale, it seemed far too troublesome.

There was no doubt that Charley was suffering, unwell, and that his marriage was a part of it, but it didn’t seem entirely fair to blame it on Evelyn. Ted didn’t know what to say, just nodding and telling Charley that everything seemed so complicated. Ted felt off, sick almost. 

Later, they sat on the bed, both smoking because Ted needed Charley to calm down and this was the only way he knew how, and Charley laid back and stared up, “Teddy, I’m tired. I can’t do it anymore and she does not care. Nothing in my life is how I want to live my life. I’m not writing plays. I’m married. Everything is wrong and worst of all I’m just so bad at it, that’s the big problem. If I were as good at writing lyrics as I wish I was, I’d be fine with that. But if I were good at being a husband? I’d even be fine with that. I’m not, that’s the thing though. I’m really bad at it. I embarrass her, first off. I embarrass her whenever I’m with her friends. I never gave her the wedding she wanted.” He was gentle, upset, covering his eyes with his forearm, partially obscuring his words, “I gave her four children, she wanted to have kids and I never hated the idea, and, I know how men are. Even if I leave, what man would ever marry a woman with four children from another man? I ruined her. No wonder she hates me, she’s stuck with me. She’s a good friend, too good for me. She’s always treated me as well as any friend would. I try to.. I mean, Teddy, I don’t even enjoy holding her. What type of existence is that? I can’t even imagine how she feels. She was in love with me, Teddy. Can you imagine that? The one person in your life who is supposed to be obligated to hold you and he won’t? He won’t even put his own feelings aside for you. That’s me. That’s me. I ruined her life, Ted.”

Ted reached over and held his hand. 

“I miss my kids, Ted.”

\--

Tyler wished he’d been allowed to be a part of the Kringas’ lives. He found Evelyn neat, and he thought Charley was a friend, but apparently all they were was acquaintances and Charley thought Tyler was “a creep” and “genuinely one of the most aggravating human beings I’ve ever had the misfortune of being forced to interact with.” 

It was shocking, then, that Evelyn invited Tyler to a party. Very exciting even.

Evelyn’s home was this mid-sized house in Cornwall. Nearest neighbors a mile in every direction. Newly painted, always kept in good shape. A large living room that had been decorated by someone with a good idea, maybe Evelyn herself. There was a great big beautiful painting hanging above the mantle, pink and blue with grey stripes over it. Tyler could not see the signature. Above the entryway heading towards the kitchen and the den was a banner, handmade presumably by one of Evelyn's children, that read, “11 years” 

Tyler was the first there, welcomed in by a flustered Evelyn. She poured him a drink, then disappeared upstairs, returning 10 minutes later with four children coming up behind her. She led them to the door, and returned without a single child, but with Mary Flynn. Mary greeted Tyler, poured herself a drink and went off with Evelyn in the kitchen. From then on, people poured in every 5 minutes or so. Tyler didn’t recognize a single face. And after a good crowd had mingled in the living room, talking, laughing, drinking, Evelyn entered again, Mary at her heel. Evelyn was such a socialite, she was damn good at it. She laughed and introduced and talked and she was a presence. Yes, that’s what Tyler was fixated on. Her presence. She was gorgeous of course, but it was just how bold every movement she made and every word she said was, it was fantastic. 

Some 95 minutes into the party, the door opened and one last person came in. Silent, trying not to draw any attention to himself, Charley was a lot less of a presence. He accidentally made eye contact with Tyler as he tried to go into the kitchen, and then his face sorta twisted as if he was trying to think of words to say. Tyler put him out of his misery and spoke first, “Hey, Charley. Fashionably late to your own party.”

The name alone made people stop to glance at the desperately inconspicuous Charley. It took them a moment, each individually, until they realized what it was, and Charley was sucked down a hole of small talk and greeting. Evelyn herself noticed him, from across the room, and smiled. She went over to him and pulled him into a hug.

“Oh, darling, what a treat. I never thought you’d show up to our own anniversary party.” She said.

Charley didn’t say anything.

Tyler lost track of the couple throughout most the party, only occasionally catching glances of them mingling, Charley always at Evelyn’s side looking uncomfortable. They didn’t look like two people who were in love, but if the four children meant anything… There was some weird level of intensity between them, Charley wouldn’t meet her eyes and she wouldn’t meet his. Towards the end of the night, Evelyn caught the crowd's attention, and catch it she did. Her bold shout froze the room and sent anyone in from the kitchen with a single world, “ATTENTION!”

Evelyn pulled Charley closer to her and he waved to the group of people now all staring in his direction. Evelyn laughed and waved too, “Well, all, it's good to see you all come. And as the night is wrapping up, I want to give you all a great big thanks for this anniversary. Now, the natural order of things means that I should’ve given this party last year, on the milestone of a decade, but this time last year, Charley was in jail, so I had to push it off.” The crowd laughed, including Tyler, and Evelyn continued, “So, I would like to thank you all for coming, and for allowing me to express my love for a husband in a way that drive shim absolutely crazy!” the crowd once again laughed, and Evelyn went off and so did Charley. Evelyn came to Tyler, sitting next to him.

“Would you stay and help me clean up?” She whispered.

Tyler nodded.

Evelyn stuffed a paper plate into the garbage and turned to Tyler. They’d been lazily cleaning for about 30 minutes and the house was empty, silent, and all dark except for the dull light hanging over the sink.

“Where did your husband go?” Tyler said.

“Home, I’d assume. He lives in the city, not here.” She replied, “Thanks for the help, Tyler. Though, I must admit, you were only invited to get on his nerves. He doesn’t like you.” She opened the cupboard and put back a box of crackers, “I think you’re fine however. Even if it's just to break him, I like you.”

“Are you… getting a divorce?”

“No.” Evelyn said, “He’s taken so many things from me Tyler, but not my pride. If he ever takes my pride, well, then it's over because I’ll have nothing left to lose. He’ll find a way someday, sure, he always finds a way to crush me-- Have you ever been married, Tyler?”

“Briefly.”

“Never do it again.” Evelyn said, “I know I never will.”

Tyler nodded, “Do you want an answering machine? I’ll get you one, I-”

“Get out of my house, please.” Evelyn said, to which Tyler obliged. He was excited, thrilled almost, by her sudden change in tone. There was nothing like a woman who didn’t know what she wanted, and Evelyn didn’t seem to have a single clue about what or who she wanted.

Tyler dreamed of her that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you not well accustomed in merrily lore, Ted was the original name for the pianist in Frankly Frank. He was played by.. David Loud I think? And had no reason to exist other than playing piano. I do however, like the frankly frank play off where he gets named. I think that's cute.
> 
> Tyler is that douchebag in the revised show that exists solely and personally to terrorize me.


	5. Beth

Beth never knew if Evelyn was the most ethical person she'd ever met, or the most unethical. There seemed to be no in-between.   
Evelyn WAS calculated, though, that was for sure, she kept in mind everything when she did anything. Nothing she did was born from impulse, she knew exactly what every word that came out of her mouth meant and what exactly it would do.  
Beth had always thought that she'd make a great... Actor or something. Maybe improvisational comedy. Not that Evelyn was very funny, but he skills of observation could make her hysterical if she tried.

"I hate the concept of ever being in front of an audience." Evelyn once said, lighting a cigarette, "I can't imagine that does anything good for one's psyche." Then she laughed, "I mean that nicely. Don't take offense, Beth. Its not for me."

"I get it." Beth said, turning and trying to get the waiters attention, "It's not what I'm really doing."

Evelyn stood up and waved at the waiter, he nodded at her and she sat back down, "You should be doing it if you want to." She laughed again, "Take your son, and move in with me and Charley. Don't let Frank drag you down."

That was the thing with Evelyn. Beth could never really tell just how much she was joking when she was mean to Frank. Beth couldn't get it! What had Frank done that made Evelyn dislike him so much? He always seemed to be nice to her, or at least trying. Was it something out of jealousy? Beth would never know. 

She meant well. That was true. That was a fact. Evelyn always did what was right. 

The divorce looked to be on Frank's side. Charley had defended him, sitting there, saying that Frank only meant the best and that Beth had kicked him out, and that he knew for sure that Frank had been a good husband and that Beth had been a bad wife. Beth had stared at him throughout the first few minutes of his testimony, and he'd met her eyes for a second, then closes his eyes and continued his talking. It made her sick. Charley was her friend. He was in a very hard situation, true, but this was nearly slander. Evelyn had been sitting in the gallery, and afterwards, as the two groups found their way out, she evaded her husbands side, much to Frank's lawyer, Jerome's, anger, and went to Beth.

Everyone was on Frank's side. Except for Evelyn.

"I'm horrified, and I'm sorry and none of it was--" Evelyn said, she steadied herself, forcing emotion away, "You deserve better, Elizabeth."

And so, Evelyn agreed to speak against Frank for Beth. Beth declined the offer, despite her lawyer's push. Beth didn't want to tear a marriage apart. The case continued to lean in Frank's favor.

That was until Evelyn gave Beth Something she couldn't ignore. 

Hidden in a bundle of paper, like what you'd put in a giftbag, was a tape. And when Beth played this tape, it changed everything. Beth had cried about it, about hearing Frank betray her like that so obviously. She'd wanted to smash it, but she didn't dare. She called Evelyn. They met up.

"Charley had recorded the applause and well, considering everything, Frank had taken the tape recorder... And.. " Evelyn's face dulled, "Right as we got home from the hospital, I was so tired I had the triplets. And we got settled, and Frank showed up and returned the tape recorder. And he didn't know, Frank didn't know he had recorded or he meant to delete it, I don't know. And Charley and I were sitting and Charley kept playing that applause, and he let it go on for too long. And we heard it, and I was sick, I was so so sick, it made me ill, I didn't think it was real. I thought maybe I was hallucinating or dreaming, and Charley turned it off after we listened to it. And he placed it in a box, and he told me, 'Let's not discuss it'" Evelyn shifted, "I would've said earlier, I swear. But Charley... Frank is his best friend, and... We're the only ones with that tape."

Beth took a sip of water to keep herself from bursting into tears.

"And I'm sorry." Evelyn said, cracking, as if she was about to cry, "I shouldn't have- I should've given it to you the day we go it. But I hope you can understand that I love Charley and I didn't want to hurt him by hurting Frank, not like that." Beth had never seen Evelyn cry before, "But I can't sit on it anymore. He hurt you, both of them did. Everything, every single damn word, was a lie. Charley helped Frank hurt you, and at this point I can't let that happen."

"I can't let my son here it."

"Then show it to the lawyers, darling. Show it to Frank. Make him scared, make him settle, and if he won't do that-- if he can treat you like this, then you... You know what you need to do."

That was it. That was what really changed the case. Frank and his lawyer were scared, they slipped. Beth got her son. 

Oh, Evelyn.

The first time they'd ever met, Evelyn went into labor. It was 1959 and Frank and Charley were trying, desperately, to teach Beth the Kennedy number, when the baby came.

It was quite an event! Beth, though she didn't even know her name, rode in the taxi with her and Charley, trying to keep poor Evelyn calm. And, since the father wasn't allowed in with the mother, Beth had sucked it up and gone in with her, holding her hand, talking to her. It was very funny, really, Beth had never had a job where the first night, she was seeing her collaborator's wife give birth. And Because of this, it was only natural that they became best friends. Poor tired Evelyn, Beth could still see her sitting there with her newborn baby in her arms, mumbling apologies. Charley came in of course, by then he'd found the will to yell at nurse so he could sit with her, and Beth went home. Frank brought Beth home. 

Beth thought about her that entire night, wondering how she'd found the luck to be thrown into such a situation, with such interesting people! Charley was unique, and Frank was wonderful, and Evelyn was everything else. 

Shockingly though, despite this frantic introduction, Evelyn revealed herself as the smartest person Beth had ever known. She gave good advice, she gave great advice. She was like a older sister, more experienced, more loving, she understood the world so much more than Beth did.

Beth just wished that the divorce hadn't changed things between them.

Not for the worse, not really. It was just different. Evelyn had been so loud and open about her love for Charley, she'd talk so highly of him, she was so in love, and after Beth and Frank's divorce, its like she wasn't. 

In 1972, she visited with the kids (and Charley) came all the way down to Texas for a single week in the middle of the summer.

The kids found Frankie the moment they got into the house, and they all ran off for the backyard to play. Evelyn smiled and looked at Beth.

"It's good to see you." Evelyn said, "Charley's at the hotel still. He's having a bit of an episode for lack of a better. His mother died of weeks ago and he's been spiraling, don't blame him." There wasn't a single ounce of emotion in his voice, "I've never been to Texas before."

Beth laughed, "You're gonna like it, I think. I got us all reservations at my favorite restaurant downtown."

"Do I get to meet your husband?"

"Yeah." Beth said, "He should be in soon. He works, very busy, you know? He's excited to meet you."

Evelyn shifted and looked out the window at the back yard where the kids were playing. She took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and took one out, turning and offering the pack to Beth. Beth shook her head, but took out her lighter and gave Evelyn a light.

"It's hard, Beth." Evelyn said, "Everything is so hard. I'm very stressed."

"I understand." Beth said.

Evelyn cleared her throat and stood up, "Tell me, is he better than Frank?"

Beth nodded. 

They wrote to eachother. A lot. They called occasionally, too. Frankie would stay with Evelyn when he went to see his father. She was trusted friend.

Frankie had begged to watch the newscast with his father on it, and Beth had obliged, sitting in the back of the room with her newborn son, watching Frankie sit on the floor, as if he was a lot younger. He was so excited. And that excitement faded away as it went on. Beth had wanted to get up and turn it off. It was horrible, everything about it was disturbing. Her husband had come up behind her and he, without even knowing them, was frozen, staring at the television screen. 

As it ended, went to commerical, Frankie jumped up and turned the TV off, and went to his bedroom. 

There were so many thoughts racing through Beth's head. She handed her baby off and sat outside her son's door. Frankie was crying, it was upsetting. After some time, Beth came in and sat next to him. He was 13, he was too old to be so upset that's what he kept saying, but Beth just gave him a hug, said that in the morning he could call his dad, or even call uncle Charley if he wanted to.

Beth, however, called Evelyn the moment she got away. Evelyn was quiet, on the phone, answering with yes and no and it's okay, she sounded so sad, so heartbroken, and right at the end, right as Beth felt almost okay, her tone changed and she got very angry, ranted about Charley for a bit, asked Beth if she would be able to come up sometime soon.

Which Beth did. The next day, without as much as a warning to her husband or her son, she went up to see her friend. 

Beth and Evelyn sat in Evelyn's house. Silent most the time. Upset. Nothing was ever going to be good again. It was what it was. Evelyn felt stripped, and angry, and her kids were getting bullied at school, and Charley had just left her.

Beth felt her pain. She stayed for 3 weeks, only calling home a week in. She helped around the house, helped with the kids, and some nights she would sit on the front porch, and hope that Charley would suddenly show up and Beth could force them to reconcile.

And it almost happened, but not like that. No, Beth had agreed to come back in two days, and she asleep in the guest room upstairs at Evelyn's house and she heard commotion, and went down the stairs. 

There they were: Evelyn, and Charley, and someone Beth recognized but couldn't recall the name of. Charley looked awful, and Evelyn looked almost as bad, and it was an argument like they'd never heard. It kept stacking, escalating, Evelyn was bright red with anger and she shoved Charley back and Charley lunged at her but was stopped by the other person. Everything went silent. 

"You want to live your homosexual life, Charley, do it. Maybe someone will bash your head in! You and Teddy there, I'm sure it'll be a hoot." Evelyn said, "You're pathetic. Every self realization you have has to come at the expense of everyone around you. Not only are you okay with ruining our children's lives with that little stunt of yours, letting them know that they'll never be treated as even remotely normal again, but you also have to leave them, throw them away, the moment it is no longer convenient. Go."

And charley looked like he was about to say something, but he stopped and looked up at Beth.

"Glad to see what you're seeing?" He said, "Beth? Is that what you gave always been craving from me?" He was crazed, he sounded crazed, "You're all rotten, that's what you are."

Evelyn snapped and once again, went towards in aggression and the man stopped her, "Don't. Relax, both of you. You think aggression is going to fix anything?"

Charley left, he followed. Evelyn lowered herself to the floor and broke down. 

"God, look at me!" She said, sorta laughing, "I was going to throttle him! I was! That's awful. I'm awful! He's awful. We're all awful. What a mess!" She wiped her eyes with her arm, "I wouldn't have hurt him. I never would."

"it's okay." Beth said, still up on the stairs, "It's okay." 

"I want to move on." Evelyn said, "Him and his little... Thing, they're going off. He needs a break from the world, apparently. And I want a break. My kids and I, we're not in anyway like him, that's my new call."

"that sounds reasonable." Beth said, trying to sound gentle.

"no one is anything." Evelyn said, "Not a single thing."

The seemed to be the turning point. Evelyn hardened, and Beth.. loved her but that wasn't enough. She was friend, and that wasn't enough. What could Beth give Evelyn to return what she gave to her? Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	6. Charley (1958)

Dear Momma,

I am the stupidest person to ever have existed. I don’t think in the history of humanity has there ever been a person more stupid than me. I’m sure you have known this for a while, I’m sure it's what you were thinking when I got kicked out of the army and came home barely able to see. I’m sure it's what you were thinking as a kid when Frank and I ran away to Fargo to find his mother. I’m completely and utterly aware that you already know. I’m also already aware that papa REALLY knows this and that he will probably call me to fight the moment you get this letter, however, I just think I should state it.

First off, New York is good. I’ve finally settled, I’m no longer couch surfing or staying at boarding houses, I've got an apartment! We even have a couple pieces of furniture! So, yes, you can write to this address! Isn’t that exciting? Guess who I’m living with? It's Franklin! He finally got discharged and we are living together. I would’ve written earlier but I forgot because everything has been too exciting. I am doing well in my studies, I’m staying out of academic probation barely which is more than I ever expected, and I have a new job (not that you know of my last one) but I will get into that when I explain why I am stupid.

Franklin and I have decided to write a musical. I guess bringing us to see Oklahoma! When we were young it was a mistake. It's very stupid but I like writing music with him as you know. He’s so very good at being a pianist. That is not the stupid thing I did but its stupid and I thought you’d like to know.

I have a friend, too, would you believe that? It only took me 20 years, but I finally have two whole friends. Never expected that would you. She is named Mary Flynn and she is from Riverdale and she is a Barnard girl. She is very funny and I think you’d like her, if I’m honest. She lives in the same building and she wants to be a novelist. She has an eye for interior design and if I could afford to, I would ask her to decorate Frank and I’s apartment because she’s very good at it (her apartment is beautiful!) 

Living with her is a former Barnard girl and her friend, Evelyn. Evelyn Azadovsky. She is the daughter of a luxury watchmaker (one of which is in this package I have sent you) and she is educated and level headed. I met her in October. As of yesterday, we are married. That is my stupidity. Now, before you get angry: She is not pregnant. I also didn’t hide my relationship. There was no relationship, we married on a whim. I do not love her. I wouldn't hide if I had fallen in love, that would be silly. However, she quite likes me and we have been married for 2 days now and I have no plans to seek an annulment. I am sorry for justifying myself before I have given you a chance to write back to me on the announcement alone, but I think it needs to be understood that if someone likes Evelyn.. Evelyn is very smart, she is educated, she comes from a good and wealthy family that likes me and she is also not like me in every way (Not stupid, good at making friends, good with money and people, likely to live into her thirties) there is no logical reason for me to not take her up on the offer of marriage. I think i would be even more stupid to say no. And really? Did you or papa or anyone ever think I would get married? Last time papa and I discussed the subject before I moved here, papa laughed at the idea. I agreed with iit! I don’t think I really deserve to be married. I am nearly completely unlovable, I am not husband material, at least in my point of view, but Evelyn disagrees very deeply. What else am I supposed to do? 

I don’t live with her, not yet, not for a while. 

Is that sad? I hope it's not.

Her parents are nice, you would like them. They are a very proper family, like the ones you used to gawk at when we as card carrying communists were home alone but used to schmooze whenever we ran into them. Not very artistic, not at all, but that’s okay. My father-in-law gave me a job in the shipping department of the watch company, I am paid well and he quite likes me. The watch in this package is a personalized gift for papa from him, it has Kringas etched into it or something. They are inviting you to stay with them in their great big townhouse (they have a small house in the country too) if you ever wish to come to New York for a visit.

They have offered to fund a wedding but I declined the offer. I would much rather save up for one myself and Evelyn agrees, it's my gift to her. It's the one thing I might ever be able to give her. 

Beyond that of my marriage I do have some words from Evelyn from you. She says, “Hello!” and she also wants to know where the name Kringas comes from. She does not believe me when i say, “absolutely no clue.” so I guess you should say it to her. She also hopes that you will accept her. I hope you will too.

Within the package, other than the aforementioned watch, there is a letter from Frank because he wants to say hello and a picture of Evelyn and I after we got married (we do not look the best but I assumed you might want it)

Love,

Charley.

P.S. please do not send money! I don't need it and we are all doing okay. ALSO to save you the trouble: I am not seeing a psychiatrist but I am doing well without one. I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love early drafts of merrily. I love that they didn't seem to know when the Korean war was! I love that somehow Charley got kicked out of the military for being blind,. which has some very interesting implications which is why I'm putting it into this timeline! I love that they changed this to him never going into the military as it always should've been.   
> Writing this is bad for the soul. Evelyn's existence makes me sad and that's why i'm writing it. I want to make the world more sad.


	7. Meg

It was a sweet little house, hidden away in a cul-de-sac in the suburbs, with a great big backyard, surrounded in high shrubs and trees, there was a pool out back. A perfect secondary house for the composer turned film producer. Meg was almost shocked that he’d all but given her it. 

Frank led her through, pointing out his very own, very niche specifications. He came to the back door and stopped, smiling and turning to Meg, “The yard, I guess, is all up to you. As long as it stays within budget. I can recommend an interior decorator, but I doubt she’ll ever want to come.” Then he shook his head, “Actually, if you don’t love it It would be nice to rid the house of the pool. I mean, who swims much anyway? It would be nice to have a nice lounge there.”

“Alright.” Meg said. It was almost sad. 

“Oh, what a shame.” a voice spoke up. At first, Meg thought it was Gussie, but as she turned around, the woman spoke again, “Gussie said you’d be here.”

Stepping out of the shade was a tall, dark haired and elegantly dressed woman, one who Meg had never seen before. Meg took a step back and bumped into Frank, who grabbed her shoulders.

“No, no, don’t be scared. I came to see him, not you, girlie.” She said, “Mr. Shepard.”

Frank held still, “How did you--”

“Find you? Get in? Darling, let’s not fight over that. See, here’s the thing. My youngest daughters called me the other day. They said they’d seen something in the newspaper.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a page, “From LA: More details from the disastrous premier party of Franklin Shepard’s brand new film that led to the arrest of Gussie Carnegie. The conflict all appeared to start because of the mention of playwright and former friend of the host, Charley Kringas.” She grinned and stepped closer, “And it continues ‘Without even being there, it appears Mr. Kringas has crushed a good time’ cute, right? Well, here’s the thing, Franklin, you then said to this reporter, ‘Kringas’ mere mention brings chaos around this household and I don’t care to discuss it’ Now, darling, I have to admit, I am not married to Mr. Kringas anymore. In fact, he left me and I divorced him quite a few years ago, however, my daughters continue to keep his name and they look like him, and I'm tired of hearing time and time again of the negativity that his mere existence brings you within the gossip columns. Mr. Shepard, I am tired of hearing how that ends up bringing my children grief. Listen, I hate chartley too, Mr. Shepard, we have that in common. But, whenever his name comes out of your mouth, it causes my family grief. So, I’m going to ask you very simply, don’t mention him, don’t answer questions about him, do not even consider him. Now, you may laugh.” she stopped and looked at Meg, “Laugh, dear-- You may laugh because what is little old Evelyn going to do? I am no famous film producer or musical composer or anything like that, but what I am is resourceful. See, years ago Mr. Shepard, I gave your former wife a tape of you and your current… ex-wife, in a very compromising situation, and yes, it was destroyed and made to be never released as part of your settlement, but the thing is that the tape I gave her was a copy and I am not part of that settlement, and if you remember correctly, your former friend Mary works very closely with members of the press who would love this tape, who would love to hear me talk about you, and I will not hesitate to do it.. The thing is, it's a lot of trouble, traveling from where I live to the city for interviews like this, so I would simply massively prefer if you’d just...not say a word about him again, because if I see his name next to yours one more damn time, I might have to get an apartment in the city to make it easier.”

Meg could feel Frank’s heart pounding through his shirt. He twisted and stepped around her, stepping towards Evelyn. Her heels made them the same height, she looked him square in the eyes. Meg wanted to run, escape, before the house lit on fire from the tension between them. She wanted to say hi, break it, but this woman’s stance wouldn't let her.

“We should get dinner.” Frank said, almost nervous, “Evelyn.”

Evelyn smiled, “I see we have come to an agreement. And no, not if the world depended on it, Mr. Shepard. Not at all.” She turned and started to go and then stopped, “And Mr. Shepard, since I am telling you this in front of the barely legal darling between us, I ask very politely that you make sure she doesn’t say a word either.” She left. 

Frank sighed and leaned on the wall, “You heard her.”

“Who was that?” Meg said, “I feel bad for not introducing myself.”

“That was Evelyn… She was… an old friend’s wife. She’s insane as we can both see, and I care not to discuss it or her, so let’s get back to figuring out which colors go where! Yes?” As soon as Frank’s rage spiked, it softened again, “She knows what she wants, that’s for sure. She could catch a cab in a rainstorm on a busy street, she’s that type of lady. You would’ve hated her.”

Meg decided to agree with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name kincaid is brought up in both Company and Merrily (Helen Kincaid and Meg Kincaid) and elsewhere in furth's work.......... why. what does it mean. 
> 
> Do not make Evelyn's kids upset, she will kill you.


	8. Mary (2)

The problem with honorary sisterhood was that Mary had to also play honorary aunthood. Yes, she was their secular godmother, but Mary simply didn’t like children. They were weird, bundles of screams, with an abnormal amount of teeth (far too little or too many) and energy levels that rivaled a golden retriever. Not Mary’s favorite. Of course, as far as kids went, the Kringas kids weren’t the worst they came. In fact, they were almost creepily not that bad. They were well behaved, clean, quiet little things, that were more like their mother than their father… Or at least the older one was, the triplets were infants (who, no matter what Charley said, Mary could not believe had personalities yet) 

Mary couldn’t even recall who in the couple had convinced her to join them here. Both Evelyn and Charley loved to pry! Loved to pry indeed. But here she was, sitting in a beach house (notably owned by Charley’s brother, not any of the Kringases she knew) with a typewriter and the passive aggressive Charley-demand of “now you’ll have a new place to write, might give you some inspiration.” as if sitting with the Kringas family made her want to write anything other than a conceptual play about being a third wheel… or maybe a suicide note. She’d gotten one word down. “Morning” is a perfect start. Morning… What was this morning doing? Rising? Ending? Setting? She didn’t know. She’d been staring at it all day, or at least mostly in the six hours since the Kringases and their Kringlets had gone off. She’d gotten up a few times, to eat lunch, to pour herself a glass of some nasty liquor that was in the back of cabinet, to look through a family album of charley’s brother (too many kids, young charley was in some of them) and then to attempt to look through both Charley and Evelyn’s respective journals, only to stop when she thought she heard someone at the door. 

But now she was back at her page, ready to decide what this morning was going to do. She brought her hands to the keys, closed her eyes, and meditated a bit on the concept of morning. Morning. Day. sun. light. Dark. night. Sky. moon. stars. Trees. Bushes, flowers, bouquet. Love. Love. Love. L-

The door opened and in rushed the oldest Kringlet, over to the couch which she began bouncing on. Behind her was Charley and Evelyn, each holding a Kringlet, and Evelyn pushing another. 

“Good evening, Mar, you’ve been productive?” Charley said, “Mara cut them out or your sisters will all start crying-” He took another Kringlet out of the bassinet or whatever it was, “I’m going to go put them down.” He left for the second bedroom and Evelyn followed. Mara had gone silent and was just standing on the couch, all stoic like.

Mary forced a grin and turned around, “Hi, Mara, you have fun?”

“We went to an aquarium.” She said. “I like fish.”

“That is so neat.” Mary said.

“Its fucking rad!” she replied, beginning to bounce again.

Mary wasn’t sure what to say to that, nodding, “I don’t think your mommy would want you to say that.”

Charley entered and stood behind where Mara was bouncing, “What she’d say?”

“The aquarium was fucking rad.” Mara said again, looking up at her dad.

Charley laughed and looked at Mary, “It was fucking rad, I can’t deny that.” he glanced down at his daughter, “Bath time, you don’t want to be fish scented for dinner tonight.” She groaned and hopped down, stomping off.

“How’s the writing?” Charley said, sitting down and taking out a flask, “Get anything done?”

Mary shrugged, “I will eventually.” 

Evelyn entered and sat across from Charley, “I am regretting bringing them, I should’ve left them with my mother.” She looked at Mary, “I miss alcohol.” Charley had tucked the flask away. 

“I can watch the kids if you two want to go out and get hammered tomorrow.” Charley laughed, “Seems like an interesting way to start drinking for Mary, but I’m not against it.”

“But then the babies wake you up at 5 am screaming, great for a hangover.” Evelyn said, “Though, Mary, I would love to get some time away with you, if I’m honest. Just you and me.”

“I have to write.” Mary said.

“Boo.” Evelyn replied, “Charley, how about we cancel dinner and just..” She stood up and sat next to him, “Lay here. All of us. Silent.” She pulled him close, Charley did not return the affection but half smiled, glancing down at the floor.

‘I wouldn’t argue against that.” Mary said, considering moving to the sofa herself.

Charley pulled away from Evelyn and stood up, straightening out his jacket, “I’ll call my brother then. They’ll want to know why we’re cancelling.”

“Just tell them I’m not feeling well.” Evelyn said, laying back on the sofa and taking off her sandals.

Charley laughed, going into the kitchen, “They’ll expect me to go still.”

Evelyn didn’t say anything, flinging her hat across the room. It landed on Mary’s typewriter, she snatched it up and put it on, which made Evelyn laugh. She sat up and stretched, “Mary, he is so frigid.”

“Probably has to do with the fact that there are four children the room over and also I’m sitting right here.’

“I wasn’t asking him to fuck me right here, just for him to not treat me like I’m a stranger coming onto him at a party.” Evelyn grumbled, “First time in years I’m able to hold him at night, and it's like he’s punishing me for it.”

Mary shrugged again, returning back to her typewriter. She leaned over and typed the word, “LOVE.” then turned back around. How Evelyn was sitting made her look like a spider, she noticed Mary’s glance and shrugged. Charley returned from the kitchen. 

“He’s mad.” Charley said, “Very mad.”

“Did he make reservations?’ Evelyn said.

“Of course not, he’s related to me.” Charley said, he stopped at the typewriter and glanced at it. Mary grabbed the paper, ripped it, and smashed it into a ball. He frowned. 

“Did we not give you enough time?” Charley said, “We can be gone all day if you want, it's just hard with the babies.”

Evelyn stood up.

“No.” Mary said, “I just haven’t found the inspiration yet.” She took Evelyn’s hat off, standing, and placed it on Charley. He rolled his eyes. “I invited you to help you and I hope I'm not making it worse.” He shook his head and crossed over the window. 

Evelyn went to the bathroom door and knocked, “Get dressed, Mara, you and daddy are going to go get stuff for dinner and you can pick out dessert.”

Charley shot Evelyn a look, which she returned with a soft smile before sitting down on the couch again. Within 10 minutes, Charley and Mara were out the door, and Evelyn spoke again, “I don’t know why he speaks to you that way. I don’t think it's right, in all honesty. You don’t want to write, Mary, I don’t think you should write. Your reviews mean something too.”

“I want to write.” Mary said, “I just can’t. I’m stuck.”

Evelyn frowned, “You and I both. Not that I want to write, but I am in fact, stuck. You know, if the babies weren’t in the other room, I would like to go walk along the beach with you.. Maybe tonight, I think we need a real moment to talk.” She unbuttoned the top button on her blouse, “I also wish I could just be in the company of a woman again. Being around men is a series of stupid rules isn’t it?”

Mary nodded, “No, no, I love the rules. Brassieres are very comfortable.”

Evelyn laughed, “Of course. We love it all, us women… Reminds me of the wives of the men I work with. Suburban ladies, living life to a schedule, no room for questions. So deeply depressed and they don’t even know it. Charley and I went to a dinner party there and I told Charley to shut his mouth, thought he’d get into a fight. The husbands all went off and I can feel his dread, they didn’t like him very much, and I sat with the wives and… In the moment I thought it was because it was.. A cultural difference. They’re all Presbyterians from Ohio and I don’t know where Ohio is.” she laughed, “But no, it was just.. Everything about them. They were happy but I don’t think you should’ve been. And you know what the worst thing is? I’m so jealous. I wish I could play that role, happy little housewife content with what she has, unknowingly so filled with despair, I feel like everything is on the surface level for me. I’m driving home that night, Charley with me, and the car was silent, as it often is, but we’re about 2 miles away from home and he says, ‘That was a nightmare.’ and I laughed and I agreed and I remembered why I married him all the sudden. I didn’t feel better though. I never feel better. Its just loneliness after loneliness and its not he cares... “ She stopped, “I don’t know if he could really fix it. I don’t think men can fix anything.”

Mary shifted, “That’s the difference between you and me.”

Evelyn laughed, “Mary, I don’t think a man would fix what’s going on with you either, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“So this is about Frank?”

“This is about… a lot of things, Mary.” Evelyn said, “I’m just saying what I’ve learned.”

“Frank and Charley aren’t the same, they’re not the same type of men.” Mary said, standing up, “If you’re unhappy and dissatisfied being with charley, maybe charley is just dissatisfying.” Mary almost regret what she said, but decided not to, “Frank… is.. Better, I’d bet, in a lot of ways, but as a partner? Beth and Frank are happy and you and Charley? I think that shows something.” Mary needed to shut up but she continued, “What fixes you won’t fix me because I didn’t make the regretful decision--” She stopped, “I know how you feel, not like that though. I don’t think anything will… fix anything, i just don’t want to be alone.”

“What I’m saying is that I’ve always felt this way, and you have too, yes?”

Mary nodded,

Evelyn shifted in her seat and rubbed her nose, “If nothing ever makes it go away, I can’t..” she trailed off, “Forget it, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve lived my entire life convinced that I know exactly what I’m talking about, what I want, and I never really know what it is really. I guess if you know what you want, then you know what you want. I don’t have that.”

Evelyn stood up and came over, giving Mary a great big tight hug, before heading into the kitchen. Mary took the cue and followed after her. Evelyn stood by the window, looking out over the beach. She leaned over the sink, turning the water on but not touching it, not looking at it, just staring out the window. Mary put her hands on her shoulders and hugged her from behind.

“Its ridiculous.” Evelyn said, “Look at me, Mary. I look great. I worked out more than any woman I’ve ever met to get the baby weight off-- I was carrying three lives within me not 11 months ago and no one can ever tell! And I’m educated, I’m educated too! And I have a good job! And I’m funny, enough.. Well maybe not funny.” (Mary chuckled.) “I think I’m great. I think I have a lot of great qualities, that I just.. Struggle.. With men and I always believed that Charley saw that in me under the.. Shell of bad and I guess not.”

Mary didn’t say anything.

“I guess that’s my problem. I don’t know what he sees in me, but I don’t think its love. I don’t know if he thinks I’m naive, If I can tell. It never went away, it was never there, but he at least used to pretend there was. I spend all my time, mary, wondering if its me, or if its him.”

Mary didn’t say anything. Evelyn turned around and looked at her. Painful, intense eye contact, eachothers hands on eachothers shoulders. 

“Is it me or is it him?” She whispered, “What do you think?”

Mary silently begged the universe to prevent her from having to answer this question. A moment passed, Evelyn’s eyebrows knit. Mary silently begged God to prevent her from having to answer this question. Half a moment passed. God didn’t save her.

“I think you’re… fine how you are, Evelyn.” Mary said, “I do- BUT! I don’t know if I can really blame charley either.”

Evelyn closed her eyes and let out a laugh, “What an answer. Someone has to be at fault.”

“Its Charley’s fault.” Mary said, “But its not his fault if you get what I mean.”

Evelyn shook her head, and before Mary had to fail to explain herself anymore, God came through and the front door opened. Mary whipped around and almost bolted into the living room. Charley and Mara were in, carrying each a bag of food, and Charley still wearing Evelyn’s great big hat. Mara bounced right past her into the kitchen, where she was swooped up with Evelyn. Charley placed his bag on the coffee table and smiled, slightly, at Mary, before pulling a melodramatic wince, and pulling a bottle of liquor out the bottle. Mary rolled her eyes and took a seat on the sofa, Charley sitting next to her.

“Alcoholic.” Mary said.

“I’m out of valium, I need something to help me sleep.” Charley said, laughing, “That’s a joke... I forgot the drinking age here is 21, isn’t that ridiculous? Cashier gave me such a look. I asked him, ‘buddy, my daughter is 7. If I was 20, that means she was born when I was 13. He still asked for my ID.”

Mary snorted, “No wonder you drink. I would hate to be 20 again.”

Charley nodded then stopped, “I dunno. I think i’d make better choices the second time around if given the chance.”

Evelyn entered, Mara bolting over to her dad and climbing up on his lap, he hugged her tight. 

“Very healthy dinner you got us, Charley.”

“That kitchen gets hot when the stove is on.” Charley said, “Making it easy on myself.”

“Of course.” Evelyn sighed, going into the room to check on the babies. 

Mary took the hat off charley’s head and handed it to Mara, “Would you go put this in your mommy’s bag? Very carefully? And make sure you put it in the right place?”

Mara nodded and hopped off her dad’s lap, going into the other room. Mary leaned over and looked at charley, “You need to talk to evelyn.”

Charley’s face dulled and he looked down, “I’ve never been good at that.”

“It's now or never.” Mary said, “I’ve never seen her like that, how she was talking to me. I know Evelyn as well as anyone can ever know Evelyn.”

Charley looked up again, eyes flicking all around, mouth opened like he was going to say something and he half mumbled and half said something that Mary couldn’t understand and then took his glasses off and held his face. Mary wasn’t sure if she had upset him or if he was just trying to think. Mary put an arm around his shoulder. 

Evelyn entered and stood behind them. Mary could feel her presence but didn’t look up. Evelyn reached over and tapped Mary’s neck. Almost begrudgingly, she looked up at her, “Would you be willing to watch the girls, maybe pop dinner in the oven for Mara?” Her words felt planned, “Charley and I need to talk and I’d prefer it alone.”

Mary nodded. Everything felt wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally truly breaking past the character accounts. Why no Joe, you may ask? Because I fucking hate Joe that's why.
> 
> This story in nonlinear obviously but I have my own little outline for it! I do! I swear! Its a very weak outline and its not written- I have a plan! I have a plan in it. please believe that I have a plan oh my god .


	9. Frankie

"Well, it was sorta always..." Mara Kringas trailed off and sighed, taking off her glasses and shaking her head, "Frankie turn off the camera."

Frankie shook his head, "Just be honest, open."

"Please, Frankie. If I try to talk positively about my dad, I'm going to talk negatively of my mother and that's not fair." She said, "My mother did the best she could with him. I appreciate this. I appreciate you coming out here, making this about our dads, but.. I can't. I can't make it sound even slightly that I didn't like my mother."

Frankie stood up and turned the camera off.

"I don't want to have to ask your sisters." Frankie said, "That's what it is. I know you much better."

"They didn't know my father all that well." She said, "I was seven when my mother kicked him out, he was completely out of my life by the time I was 15. My sisters were only three, then nine by the time he was gone... " She shrugged, "my mother was a really good woman. My father, I can't be mad at him, but he wasn't.. good to her. God, those two... They'd fight. They were never really cruel to eachother, they just.. didn't get along. It was like they were too strangers forced to co-parent. They made eachother cry so often. My mother was very stoic, she'd just stand there and continue on like it wasn't happening, dad would usually leave the room. They fought worse when we weren't around, I knew that... My father was just.. emotionally unstable, my mother, I was certain she had come to the conclusion that she never ever wanted this. I knew she didn't hate us, me and my sisters, but god that's how it felt sometimes. My father too, he was never there. Not just physically, but emotionally, it was like he was playing a role. My mom cared about him though, she did. That's what I don't know how to get through to you. My mother was so miserable and so… rightfully angry. But whenever he was in trouble, whenever he really needed her, she was there. Even after the divorce. She used to act like he was entirely out of her life, but no, he'd write her letters, she'd write back. She went to his plays... That was my mother's biggest flaw, she cared about him too much. If she'd just.. left him, the moment she realized that she had overindulged a whim.. " she laughed, "Well, it wouldn't be very good for me and my siblings."

"Why can't you say that?" Frankie said.

"I just... Can't, Frankie." She said, " It'll be misconstrued. My father spiraled after his second play-- the one about your father?-- flopped and my mom, despite him ruining her twenties and thirties, came back to New York to reconnect with him. Keep an eye on him, that's what she told me... She hated him, she had told me she hated him, he had ruined her life, but when he needed it, she came back to him. They were better as friends than as my parents, when they were just being friends, individually my parents but not together, they were good. My father was still nutty and my mother still a bit cutthroat, but they were better like that..." She trailed off again and stood up, going to the window, "When I had my own kids, I was afraid so much to be like my father that I ended up becoming my mother for a time. Cold, collected, forcing myself into a box that didn't fit.. my mother was good with kids, but she wasn't meant to be a mother, she hated having to talk down to us, she hated having to just deal with the trouble that kids cause. It all bothered her. She hated being around my friend's moms, she could never get along with them. She hated the dads more but that was just my mom. I remember, right after my graduation, I went to the city with her, to see my father, and as we sat in the restaurant, she reached over and held my hand, and told me to make through it all. I didn't know what she meant. What was I supposed to make through? I came to the conclusion that she meant young adulthood, eventually. She'd ruined her life as a young adult, I think. It followed her. She never wanted me to." She stopped talking and looked back at Frankie again, "If you give me a few days to... Put my thoughts together, I'll give you something better, and we can record it."

Frankie stood up, nodding, and going over to the camera, "Friday?"

"I can do Friday." She said. "Do you want to stay for dinner? Meet my husband?"

Frankie shook his head, "I'm flying out to California tonight. I'll be back Wednesday but I have to collect some records."

"ah, that's a shame." She said, "See you soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merrily is upsetting. I've been spending my time reading a handful of scripts, different versions, and my favorite so far is probably the pre-revision licensed script from 1982. It's got the best dialogue, a little bit of a edge (unfortunately not as much as in the second Preview audio which can be found online, but more than the revision)   
> My biggest problem with it, and really the only thing that the revised show has over it (other than growing up) is that Gussie isn't as developed! :( I love gussie and Furth didn't do her very well early on. Cruelty.
> 
> Also the roundabout script sorta sucked, awful characterization of Charley, bad pacing, and generally just a weak rewrite of the book, lines that were changed stood out like sore thumbs and were rarely very multifaceted (characters rationally explaining why they're upset instead of... Being upset?). Did like the original play scene they put in though, up to a point. Developing Beth like Helen, I feel, doesn't really work. Beth is a very different character (in that she is a character lol) and so it feels sorta out of place. Also despite returning a lot of things from older drafts there's not a single ounce of radical politics there, which is weird? Charley was called a Jewish socialist early in development, you'd think that if you're going to go back to earlier drafts you'd.. like use that? Blah.. cowardly, really. 
> 
> What is it with Furth/sondheim musicals and getting their books butchered by people who don't understand the themes or storytelling even rather basically. 🤔


End file.
